Sifr's Greatest Hits

There is this person named Sifr on 9th Wonders who has been delighting in taking great licence with some of the Heroes Official continuity.

Bless'em!

Here are some of Sifr's better RECENT works!
---------

New York City - One Year Ago

*Noah is in the van watching Elle and Sylar on surviellance*

Elle: But you are special just the wa...

*Noah turns down the volume*

Noah: Eugh... come on... who is she kidding?

Few Hours Later

*Noah is playing with some dolls*

Noah-as-Elle: You're weird and kinda cute looking...
Noah-as-Sylar: I'm gonna be a serial killer, wanna play?
Noah-as-Elle: Sure! I have mental issues too!
Noah-as-Sylar: Cool!
Noah-as-Elle: Lets make out!

*He makes them kiss noisely*

Elle: AHEM!

*Noah turns to see them both at the door of the truck*

Sylar: Dude... not cool...

----------------

Pinehearst

*Arthur rips off the head of a random lackey who does not even get a name*

Arthur: Aaaah... thats the stuff.
Sylar: What power did you take dad?
Arthur: I'm not sure... wait... hey you!

*Another lackey comes over*

Arthur: You're a precog!
Lackey: Erm... yes?
Arthur: You've been dreaming about me, haven't you...
Lackey: Maybe, but thats not my fault, you see, my little sister broke her banjo and-
Arthur: SILENCE!... I KEEEEELL YOU!

*Rips his head off*

Sylar: I guess you got the power to plagarise...
Arthur: Guess so... ikeeellyou...
Sylar: What was that?
Arthur: Nothing... nothing... infidel

---------------------------------------------------

Sifr's House

*There is a knock on the door*

Sifr: Yes?
Arthur: I believe you've been writing about me...

*He grabs Sifr's head*

Inside Si's Head

*Arthur is singing in a bikini*

Arthur: Bend me, shake me, anyway you want me...

*Sifr starts to scream*

--------------------------------------------------

Japan

Ando: Hiro! You must understand! You are not 10!
Hiro: Silly Ando... course I am!
Ando: You're 28!
Hiro: Prove it!

Toilets

*There is a scream from the men's toilets and Hiro comes running out*

Hiro: Aaaargh!
Ando: I told you!
Hiro: What happened! Why is ZZ-Top down... there?
Ando: I'm sorry I had to show you!
Hiro: You better be! Its paedophilia!
Ando: YOU'RE NOT 10!
Hiro: Then its homoerotic!
Ando: Argh!

*Ando walks off exasperated*

Hiro: *Sniffs the air* Oooh... waffles
--------------------------------------------------------

Haiti

Nathan: When you jumped off that roof like a moron, who caught you? Who pulled you out of Kirby Plaza when you were about to blow up? You want my respect, you want my approval, earn it!
Peter: Why would I want your respect? You're a PUPPET!
Nathan: Excuse me?

*Cut to Arthur, playing with puppets of the cast*

Arthur-as-Nathan: I'm a US Sentator-
Arthur-as-Peter: No
Arthur-as-Nathan: -you're a nurse...

*Arthur gets punched in the back of the head*

Arthur: What the hell?
Doyle: Thats for stealing my thing!

*Arthur gets punched again*

Doyle: You wanna be the puppet-master now, huh b**ch?!

----------------------------

Pinehearst Lab

Mohinder: Its a miracle... complete remisson, all effects of the forumla have disappeared, scales, abilities, I have no idea how or why? Some correlation to the eclipse? Further research is warranted... but not yet...

*Looks up Maya's address*

Arthur: You're not going anywhere... that bootycall with Maya was one of the worse parts of this season! I mean, first Sylar, then you, is she THAT sl*tty? Its weak character writing!
Mohinder: What about Tracy? She hopped beds from that guy to Nathan pretty quickly? Or Daphne falling for Matt? And Sylar and Elle? And whats with Peter forgetting that Irish chick from last season?

*Flint pins Mohinder to the wall*

Flint: Last season NEVER happened...
Tim Kring: He's right Mohinder, it never happened...
Mohinder: But I remember... George Takei and Nichelle Nichols?
Arthur: He's proving difficult to work with... you wanna do it or shall I?
Tim Kring: I'll do it...

*Tim Kring goes into the vault and presses the Reset Button, immediately everyone relaxes*

Tim Kring: God I love this thing...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Haiti

Peter: You know, I've been thinking...
Nathan: Don't say it...
Peter: I'm gonna!
Nathan: DON'T!
Peter: In the event of a water-landing, the exits are here... here... and-

*Nathan and Peter crash into the Swamp*

Nathan: You HAD to say it didn't you...
Peter: Dude, you gotta admit, the timing of that was awesome!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Primatech

*Matt cuffs Nathan*

Nathan: Matt, what are you doing?! *under his breath* Ithoughtweweredoingthislater?
Matt: Sorry Nate-dog, but I'm a cop, and I'm gonna have to bring you in...
Nathan: What for?!

*Matt looks at his notebook*

Matt: Repeatedly exceeding the Sound Barrier over Residential Areas, flying without a licence, general ignorance of the FAA, no safety talk, flying without the drinks cart, flying without hot stewardesses to Mile High it with-
Nathan: Hey I'm working on convincing Tracy!
Matt: -and the worst crime of all-
Nathan: Don't start this again...
Matt: WHERE ARE MY FREE HEADPHONES?
---------------------------------------------------------
I did wonder about this in the IABD episode, with all those guys in suits flying around, do you reckon this ever happens...

FOUR YEARS IN THE FUTURE

Flying-Cop: Well well... if it isn't Spike Hutchinson...
Spike: What is it now?
Flying-Cop: You were speeding...
Spike: Was I?
Flying-Cop: Don't play coy with me, you were clocked doing Mach 2 in a Mach 0.3 zone!
Spike: No I wasn't!
Flying-Cop: And your tail-light was out...
Spike: I'm not even wearing lights!
Flying-Cop: I know, I just wanted you to admit it *notes down* Not-wearing-lights...
Spike: You're a sadist, you know that?
---------------------------------------------------------------------
WANT MORE: http://boards.9thwonders.com/index.php?showtopic=56960